Understanding child neglect
Neglect happens when a parent or carer isn’t giving you everything you need to grow up happy and healthy.
Content Warning: this article contains violence and trauma related content that may be triggering or distressing.
What is neglect?
When we don’t have our basic needs met by the people who are supposed to look after us it’s called neglect.
- Some parents or carers have trouble giving their kids the basics they need to be safe and grow up happy and healthy.
- 'Good enough’ parenting is defined by things such as your culture, the community you live in and the laws around child protection in your country.
- Neglect can happen when one or both parents are affected by things which may or may not be within their control eg. addiction, mental illness or poverty
Types of neglect
Child neglect might occur in any or all of these areas:
Physical neglect
Not enough food, clothing, unsafe at home.
Medical neglect
Illnesses, infections or injuries left untreated.
Emotional neglect
Lack of love, warmth and emotional support.
Educational neglect
Often absent from school or not going at all.
Abandonment
Being left by parent or carer for very long periods.
Supervisory neglect
Taking care of yourself beyond what’s expected for your age.
What’s the opposite of neglect?
We need to be supported in different areas of our life when growing up. This is usually the job of our parent or caregiver. But it may also include our extended family, school and community.
- Physical – shelter, food, clothing, hygiene, sleep
- Security – consistent care, appropriate boundaries
- Affection – cuddles, kisses, holding, tenderness, patience
- Stimulation – encouragement, praise, play, games
- Guidance – teaching life lessons, instilling values
- Independence – balancing protection and exploring
- Responsibility – appropriate chores, involved in decisions
- Approval – understanding and acceptance
Neglect usually happens over time and is rarely a one-off incident. As it builds up over time it can become normalised by the parent and young person.
What are the signs of neglect?
Here are some signs that may indicate neglect:
- Extremely dirty, unwashed or have body odour
- May steal or beg for food, clothing or money
- Inadequate, worn out or dirty clothing
- Living in unhygienic or unsafe conditions
- Often hungry, without food or malnourished
- Untreated injuries, illness or physical conditions
- Is home alone for long periods without supervision
- Parent/carer is abusing alcohol or other substances
- Parent/carer may appear indifferent toward to the child
- Is frequently absent from school or doesn’t attend at all
If you are being neglected…
You might feel guilty, sad, scared or hurt. But just remember that:
You deserve to be loved and cared for
It’s NOT your fault
Kids Helpline is here to help you
There are people you can talk to who can help
Here’s a list of some people you could try talking to. Remember, if at first you don’t get help, keep trying until you find somebody who will help you.
- Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800
- 1800 RESPECT - 1800 737 732
- An older relative or friend
- A teacher or school principal
- Doctor or nurse
- Youth worker
- School counsellor
- Child Protection
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