Domestic violence at home

Violence or abuse at home isn’t ok. Everybody deserves to feel safe and free to be themselves.

Everybody deserves to be treated with respect and dignity

Domestic violence at home creates a climate of fear and tension

Domestic violence – also known as family violence – isn’t about somebody being unable to control their anger. It’s about abusers believing they are entitled to have power and control over others.
Some forms of family violence – stalking, threats, sexual and physical abuse – are a crime.
The behaviour of the abuser can make it very hard for family members to leave.
Once family violence begins, it may get worse over time.

Here are some examples of how abusers control their partners:

There are six stages in the cycle of violence as set out by Lenore Walker.

These stages may not be the same for everyone. But this model can help you understand how the violent behaviour occurs.

The build-up phase – Relationship becomes tense and the abuser increases verbal, emotional or financial abuse
The stand over phase – Described as ‘walking on eggshells’ and fear that anything might set off the abuser
Explosion – The peak of the cycle where the abuser uses violence to control the other person and tension is released
The remorse phase – The abuser may feel ashamed and withdraw from the other person or try to justify their actions
The pursuit phase – Abuser promises to change or makes up for their behaviour eg. giving gifts, increased affection and attention
The honeymoon phase – Denial over how bad the abuse/violence is and ignoring the likelihood of it happening again