Understanding emotional abuse

When an adult is hurting you with their words or actions over and over, it’s not ok and there are people who can help.

What is emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse happens when someone keeps treating you in a way that makes you feel scared, worthless or alone.

It’s sometimes called psychological or verbal abuse.

It’s when someone keeps saying or doing things that are hurtful to you.

It can include constant yelling, criticising, rejecting, isolating and bullying.

Emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse.

Nothing you say or do makes it ok for someone to emotionally abuse you.

Types of emotional abuse

Here are some examples of emotional abuse:

Calling you names or constantly putting you down
Withholding love, support, praise or attention
Forcing you to do things by scaring you
Driving recklessly in the car to scare you
Constantly criticising, humiliating or blaming you
Having expectations of you that are too high or you cannot reach
Ignoring or pretending you aren’t there
Often swearing, yelling or screaming at you
Threatening to harm you, people you care about or your pets
Making you feel different from other family members
Telling you that you’re worthless, unloved or not good enough
Not letting you be independent, learn new things or make friends
Not allowing you to express your ideas or making fun of what you say
Treating you badly because of things you can’t change (eg. disability, gender, sexuality)

You deserve to be treated with care and respect. No-one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself.

Words hurt

While emotional abuse might not hurt your body, it can be just as harmful and painful to you on the inside.

You may feel:

Worried, guilty, angry or confused
Fearful of doing something wrong
Sad, lonely or like hurting yourself
Self-conscious or not liking yourself
That you can’t express your feelings
Unloved, unwanted or rejected
Like running away or getting even with someone
Worthless, hopeless or betrayed
Unable to trust others or always having to please them

If emotional abuse is happening to you…

It’s important to remember:

You’re not alone

Abuse is NEVER OK

This is NOT your fault

You are important

You deserve to be treated with love and care

Kids Helpline is here for you

There are people you can talk to who can help

Here’s a list of some people you could try talking to. Remember, if at first you don’t get help, keep trying until you find somebody who will help you.