Talking about feelings

A child jumping in a puddle and smiling while another child stands nearby holding an umbrella looking sad.

Everyone has feelings

Feelings are there to help us.

They tell us when things are going well and make us feel good like being happy, excited or proud.

Feelings also tell us when things aren’t going well and can make us feel angry, scared or worried.

A child sitting on steps with a dog standing nearby looking at the child.

Talking about feelings can be tough

Sometimes we don’t know how to say what we feel or we worry about how the other person might react.

You might feel uncomfortable talking about how you feel or think that other people should already know how you are feeling.

Two people sitting together on a wooden jetty looking out over the water.

It’s ok to talk about your feelings

Talking about feelings helps us to feel close to those who care.

It helps us to work through problems and cope better. Putting feelings into words can also help us stay in control when we are angry or upset.

A child sitting on a swing in a field holding a chicken, with other chicken nearby and contrasting clouds in the sky.

When you know how you feel, it’s easier to talk about it

Spend some time alone thinking about how you feel.

Try to put a name to that feeling. Are you feeling: happy, sad, angry, nervous, worried, confused, scared, excited, jealous, shy, embarrassed, annoyed or surprised?

If you’re having trouble finding the right word, look up some feeling lists.

A child with a first aid box with thought bubbles that say, “heart beating fast”, “crying”, “wobbly legs”, “shaky hands”, “sweating”, and “sick in tummy”.

Get to know your feelings

Ask questions like: How big is this feeling? Where in your body do you feel it?

What does it feel like inside your body? What does it make you feel like doing?

An adult kneeling and talking while a child sits on the floor holding a broken doll.

What made you feel that way?

Think about what happened to make you feel that way. If you don't know why, that’s ok.

You can still talk about it. You could say something like "I feel sad, but I don't know why."

A child sitting on a bed holding a book, with a speech bubble that says “I FEEL…”.

Practice talking about your feelings

Try putting how you feel and why into these sentences:

I feel _____ because ____________.

I feel ______ when ________ happens.

A mother sitting beside her child who is lying in bed holding a teddy.

Talk to someone about your feelings

Pick a person you feel comfortable to talk to. It could be a friend, parent, teacher or relative.

Find a time when they aren’t busy and let them know that you want to talk. Tell them how you feel and why.

A boy standing alone in the rain holding an umbrella, while two children jump in puddles nearby.

It helps to talk about how you feel – the good and the bad

Saying how you feel and why can help you cope and feel better.

Sometimes it makes your feelings less upsetting and scary. It helps to know you are not alone with a problem or worry.

Learn about feelings - with music!

We're here if you need help to practice

Practice helps! The more you talk about your feelings the easier it will get. Try starting with feelings that make you feel good and work your way up to the hard ones.

If you need some extra help – give us a call, start a webchat, or read one of our other articles.

You can also check out Medicare Mental Health for other digital services and resources.