Hurt on the inside: What is emotional abuse?

Illustration of a child sitting on the floor inside an open locker, with lockers and hanging clothes around them and symbols shown in a speech bubble.

What is emotional abuse?

It’s when an adult says or does things over and over again, that makes you feel bad, scared, sad or alone.

Illustration of a child sitting on a bed in a bedroom, with a cat lying beside them and a shadow of two adults arguing visible through a doorway.

What it might look like…

Always calling you names, yelling, teasing or ignoring you.

They might say things to scare you or stop you from having friends.

It can happen when your parents fight or hurt each other in front of you too.

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It may make you feel…

Scared, bad, embarrassed, confused or sad. You may feel unloved, unwanted or alone.

No matter what you feel, Kids Helpline is always here for you.

Illustration of a child sitting with knees drawn up in front of a chalkboard showing arrows pointing from the words “LAZY”, “STUPID”, “DUMB”, “IDIOT”, “UGLY” and “BAD”.

Words can hurt

Being yelled at or called names all the time can make you feel bad about yourself.

You may start to believe what they are saying and feel that you deserve to be treated this way – BUT you don’t.

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Emotional abuse is NOT ok

All kids have a right to be treated with love and care.

It’s NEVER ok for someone to make you feel bad about yourself or hurt you on the inside.

Illustration of an adult sitting beside a child on a bed, with a speech bubble containing the text “It’s not your fault”.

It’s NOT your fault

There is nothing you can say or do that makes it ok for someone to make you feel bad about yourself or scared.

Emotional abuse can happen to anyone and is always wrong.

Illustration of a child sitting cross‑legged in front of a chalkboard with arrows pointing from the words “KIND”, “FUNNY”, “GOOD FRIEND”, “CLEVER”, “BRIGHT” and “CREATIVE”.

Things you can do

Make a list of things you like about yourself and what you are good at. Remind yourself of this list when you feel down.

When you can, spend time with people that make you feel good about yourself.

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Find someone to talk to

Talk to somebody you trust and feel safe with about what is happening at home.

It might be an older relative or friend, a Kids Helpline counsellor or a school teacher.

You are not alone – we’re here for you

If you need some extra help – give us a call, start a webchat, or read one of our other articles.

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This content was last reviewed 06/09/2018