Understanding Death
Funerals
In most cultures, after someone dies there will be a funeral to celebrate the life of the person who died and to talk about how much people loved them. This is usually a time to say goodbye, to get together with other people who cared about them, to help each other and to share your sadness.
The body of the person who died is often in a coffin which is usually a polished wooden box, but because they are dead they won't be able to see or hear anything that is happening. People will talk about the person that died and will often cry.
In some cultures kids go to funerals and in others they don't. What happens in your culture? Are kids included? What if you weren't included and you wanted to go? Or you were told you had to go but you didn't really want to? Who would you talk to about that?
Talking about it
Everybody has their own ways of expressing and handling feelings and there is no right or wrong way.
For many kids, talking about what has happened, what they are worried about and what they are feeling is a useful thing to do. This can sometimes get tricky when someone has died or is dying. Sometimes grown ups are struggling with their own feelings and so it's hard for them to talk with the kids in their lives. This can make kids think 'If mum or dad don't talk about it maybe I shouldn't talk about it either'.
Often too, kids expect that the grownups in their lives will have all the answers, but death is one thing that even they have trouble understanding, so they won't necessarily have the answers to your questions.
If you want to talk, but your mum or dad are feeling too sad themselves to be able to listen to you, it's important that you find another trusted adult to share your feelings and/or worries with. You can also call Kids Helpline on the details at the end of this hot topic!